Dear dear diary, 

Starting my blog has brought my focus back to where it needs to be: on our relationship and our dynamic. Not only will I be able to look back on entries and learn from them, other people can too! 

My protocol isn’t firmly set right now since we’re diving into a big move right now. But we are working on improving our basic habits so that it’ll be easier when it’s time to start setting up our protocol once again. 

We did really well for while before I started hating life. I followed my checklists, went to bed on time, and daddy made me breakfast and gave me my medication every morning. 

The morning routine is what I miss the most; starting my morning off perfect with french toast and daddy making sure my day started well. I felt so much better then. My appetite was healthier. I was sleeping better. No matter how bad those days ended, they began wonderfully because of daddy and all his hard work.

But in less than four weeks we will be moved! A new city and state! New apartment! I even got a shiny new job already working in an account and billing management department! And the place we’re moving is wonderful. It’s filled with parks, antique stores, kitchy thrift shops, and all kinds of museums and free stuff to do! There’s even a thriving bdsm community there we can get involved in when I’m ready. So much opportunity I can hardly wrap my head around it! 

Of course I am nervous. I’ve never lived in a city before. I’ve always lived in the country or on the outskirts. I’ve never live in an apartment before either. Unless you count duplexes. But we’re looking at the good areas. I shouldn’t have to worry anymore than I already do. I already keep everything locked and practice caution wherever I go. Maybe I’m just too paranoid, lol! 

My sister doesn’t like it at all. Neither does my mom. I’ve never lived so far away from them and let’s just say I kind really sick at adulting. But it would’ve been nice if they could’ve been happy for me when I told them about the job I got. It’s a good job, a career more than a job. I can move up or into different departments if I get bored. The pay is better than what I get now. It’s a better work environment as well. I could really move up there and even land a nice suit and tie position in the corporate office with my own view of the city and a comfortable salary. It really stings that they weren’t more excited for me. But they’re worried. I get that. In time they’ll calm down and hopefully be able to see how well I’m doing. 

In closing, things are looking up. I’ll be away from this suffocating environment soon and I’ll be apple to bloom in the sun! 

I wonder what kind of flower I’ll be…


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