I’m jumping ahead just a little bit to get my thoughts out on this topic because I feel it may be relevant to me.
Orgasm denial has multiple uses. It can be used to correct behavior, as an expression of dominance and control, or even to manipulate a low libido in women (I have no knowledge of how it can effect a man’s libido).
As a punishment, it’s efficacy relies on the submissive’s desire for climax. A submissive who values their own climax at a higher level would be more effected by this punishment than a submissive who does not crave this pleasurable peak as much. For example: I don’t really have much desire to climax during sex or other play. I enjoy it. But it isn’t a driving factor for me. Therefore, this punishment would have no effect on me whatsoever.
Rewarding a submissive with orgasmic release can also influence behavior. Threatening to withhold an orgasm before bed can quickly correct an attitude problem in a submissive who craves it. Release can also be a motivator to get chores done in a timely fashion and encourage good behavior.
Using orgasm control to exert dominance is intimate and thrilling. By requiring permission to orgasm, the dominant sends the message that even the most intimate aspect of a submissive belongs to them. The dominant owns and controls the submissive’s pleasure.
Manipulating libido with orgasm control takes patience. The basic idea is to deny the submissive climax for extended periods of time, over multiple sessions. This creates the craving for release. It also intensifies the orgasm when it is finally granted. You should familiarize yourself with the body language of you submissive so that you can accurately gauge when they’re about to climax.
Orgasm control for any purpose requires the dominant to be familiar with their submissive’s pleasure threshold. Some use a scale to figure this out. Example: during play ask the submissive how close they are to climax, 1 being not close at all and 10 being immediately. It sounds cumbersome but some creative language or even role playing can make it highly erotic.
These are just the basics of orgasm control. Using some creative orgasm control can really spice things up and add a fresh element to the lifestyle.