Dear Diary 😢

It’s really sad when you get confirmation that your own family doesn’t support you as fiercely as someone else’s family. 

My sister confirmed today that she thinks I’m incompetent, that she thinks I would be nothing and have nothing without her. She opened a business a few years ago and I decided to work for her. Without me it would’ve already failed. She didn’t give me anything, I worked for it. 

I’ve made a decision for Daddy and I to change our lives for the better. Part of that is moving to a place with better opportunities for both of us. Part of that is not being my sister’s whipped puppy anymore. Part of that is doing what’s right for me regardless of who’s feelings it hurts. 

For some reason she believes I don’t think about things deeply, that I’m being manipulated, and that I’ll come crawling back with my tail between my legs after I’ve failed. 

I’ve got news for all my doubters and haters. 

I think about things so deeply it’s created a miasma of anxiety, stress, and depression. 

I am not being manipulated and I will never let anyone manipulate me, including a member of my blood family who I used to look up to, who has decided that I am nothing and would be nothing. 

I might fail. But I will not come crawling back like an abused puppy who doesn’t understand its being abused. If I do fail, that won’t stop me. I’ll pick myself up and try again. I will eventually succeed. 

I am competent. I am driven. 

I am not nothing. 

I have support from people who love me even though we share no blood, people who know I am not nothing, that I can and will make something of myself. 

I have a man by my side who will walk over blades to make sure I want for nothing and make something of myself. 

I am not nothing. 

I am more than people realize. 

I am driven. 

I will succeed. 

I am stardust and cosmic forces coming together to create a beautiful, unique, capable human being. 

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