When You Fight.

Like any other relationship, you will fight. I always believed that if you never fight with your significant other, there’s not enough there to fight for. Every couple is different however. 

The important part of a fight is how you recover from it. That’s what determines how strong you are as a couple. 

From personal experience, I will say that it’s probably best that you don’t drag your bdsm dynamic into an argument that has nothing to do with it. It will create a lot of sourness and you’ll have an even harder time recovering from it. 

The recovery, the aftermath of an argument is what matters, not the argument itself or even how often arguments occur. 

No matter how angry or upset you become, no matter what you say or what you do (I have a terrible habit of throwing things during an argument), it can only make you stronger as a couple as long as you recover from it properly. 

After you’ve finished throwing things, screaming, saying things you’ll regret, or whatever you do during a fight or an argument, the key is in how you deal with it as a couple afterwards. 

So once you’ve both thrown your tantrums and shed your tears it’s time to recover. The most important part of the recovery process is recognizing that you’re both human and that every says and does stupid shit occasionally. The next step is figuring our why the fight or argument happened in the first place. Was it miscommunication? Inappropriate tone of voice? Did one (or both) of you say or do something you shouldn’t have or weren’t supposed to? 

Once you’ve figured out why the argument or fight happened it’s time to take steps to prevent the next one. Take this opportunity to learn about each other. Do you need to improve your communication skills with each other? Do you need to be more mindful of your tone?  Do you need to set guidelines for for when to come sultry each other on decisions and actions? Was a rule broken? 

If the fight happened because a rule was broken, maybe the rule needs to be clarified or renegotiated. 

Daddy and I have had fights and arguments. We had one just today. What makes us stronger as a couple is how we deal with those occurrences once they’re over. Tonight there will be a discussion about why we got into the argument we did and we’ll figure out how to prevent that argument from happening again. 

Even the best couple is going to fight or have arguments, bdsm doesn’t keep that from happening either. I would say though, that to necessary foundations of bdsm can help you handle those fights better. 

Sometimes the recovery, the solution to the argument, may be to part ways. Part of the recovery process is deciding whether it’s in your best interests to stay together. Some people just aren’t compatible despite their love for each other. 

It’s not the fights or arguments that damage a relationship, it’s how you deal with those things that can cause damage. Never leave an issue to be resolved another day. Time just makes it worse. When the storm is over, it’s time to rebuild,its time to learn about each other, it’s time to reinforce your relationship structure. Would you abandon your house because you lost some shingles, or even the porch, in a storm? Or would you rushing leave your roof and build a stronger porch? 

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