Protecting Your Vanilla Identity.

Oh the masks we wear.

One of the risks of bdsm is being associated with it. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. People will question your motivations. You might be asked if you’re being abused or if you are the abuser. Bitter people could use it against you. If you have anything to lose you need to protect how the vanilla world sees you. While attitudes are definitely changing toward bdsm and those who practice it, not everyone will be so open-minded.

Most of us combat this by creating a persona. We give flesh and blood to an unseen part of ourselves by creating a another name to go by. We can’t have our hip grandma stumbling across naughty things on our Twitter, now can we? The best way to do this is to create a whole new email account to link your kinky accounts to and don’t associate it with your vanilla accounts in any way. This way you can keep your personal life separate from your family/work life.

I’ve already given a name to that other side of me. It allows me the freedom to interact with the bdsm community without fear of persecution from the outside. I use This name for any and all accounts I use that have anything to do with the lifestyle. Eventually I will create a face that goes with that name that I will use when it is necessary to be seen while remaining anonymous.

We don’t hide behind these masks. It’s quite the contrary actually. These masks we wear free us and allow us to express ourselves in ways that we never could with our vanilla selves. Pseudonyms, alternate names, literal masks, and personas allow us to live in some form as we truly are.

Hiding your vanilla identity isn’t necessary of course. A lot of people don’t. It’s merely a safety measure, a security blanket if you will. It also offers real life protection from the dangers of the internet and dating. Some don’t even do it to hide; they just enjoy creating and living that other persona.

Using a pseudonym on social media grants you access to an endless community of people to learn from and talk with. While there is a lively bdsm community out there in the real world, it isn’t accessible to everyone and it can be really scary if you’re new. The online community is vast and easily accessible. A wealth of knowledge lay at you fingertips. You can now begin to open doors to things you may not have known were there, such as local groups, real people, and so much more. It’s thrilling and satisfying to be able to connect with others about something as wonderful as this. All you need is a level head, an open mind, and a new name.

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